Did you spray them on? They’re tighter than a fat man’s belt and surely can’t be comfortable to wear. Can you even sit down without them splitting?
Added to that, the horrific shiny silver colour makes you look as if you’re off to a fancy dress party with a futuristic theme; combined with those awful black boots, you look like the citizen of some repressive dystopian state.
Thankfully, there’s not much to say about your upper body because it is tremendous; black and white has saved the day!
Don’t worry though, we all learn from your mistakes. First of all, fire your stylist, and make sure the next one dresses you in something a little more classic.
By Yaren Kaya