Nicki, how are you doing? Are you ok? It doesn’t look it! Know I know that you are trying to rock the Red Ridinghood look, but … today’s just not your day.

First of all the red cloak doesn’t match that shade of blonde you’re wearing, and to make matters worse both clash viciously with your skin tone. Secondly, wearing a lampshade-inspired headdress is NEVER a good move. Have you ever seen the fashion police, Nicki darling? Because by the looks of you, they’re on their way!

Added to that, the black stitching around the outside doesn’t go well with your outfit, which is to be expected. It just draws our eyes to how pale the blood red colour makes you look; you look like a doll, but not in a good way.

Also, the way that your dress fans out adds weight to you instead of disguising it, which is presumably what you are trying to do. To us you look more like a member of the high church than little red riding hood; don’t try to steal the Pope’s style, it doesn’t suit you.

Whose face are you wearing on your skirt? The basic graphics make it unrecognisable and the image just adds to the nightmarish look of the whole outfit.

Oh Nicki, we’re not blaming you for your disastrous outfit; we place the blame squarely on your stylists for letting you wear it.

*

Na’Imah Laurent Dixon

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About Miss Thomas

I am an English teacher at The City Academy, Hackney.

8 responses »

  1. Miss Thomas says:

    Great use of rhetorical questions to add to the humour. Another classic review Na’Imah!

  2. dapperdolly says:

    I think that Blond and Red go very well together and they do on dark skin too, just that shot is no good and it’s Niki, Blond isn’t particularly flattering on her in general. I think she was going for the ‘whore of babylon’ look there with the faux pope. She was making a statement more than choosing what looked good on her.

  3. lulu says:

    I agree she looks…no comment!

  4. Alesha Wardle says:

    Well done, this review is informative and I think she overdid it.

  5. Saneeta says:

    I think this is a fantastic review Na’Imah, I’ve enjoyed your language about Nicki’s clothing.Keep the great reviews coming.

  6. sonia obasogie says:

    OMG NA’IMAH LOVING THE REVIEW, IT
    SOUNDS CLASSY!

  7. Aaron Owusu says:

    Fanatastic Review Keep it up ! 😀

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